Barley a lifestyle

 The “That Girl” Trend: Aesthetic Aspirations vs. Reality

Over the past few years, social media has crowned a new lifestyle archetype: "That Girl."
She’s the one who wakes up before sunrise, drinks matcha lattes in matching glassware, meditates, journals, exercises, eats avocado toast, maintains glowing skin, and somehow keeps her life flawlessly organized. Scroll through TikTok or Instagram, and you’ll see her morning routine in perfectly lit 30-second clips.

But is this just a passing internet aesthetic, or is there science behind it?

Where It Comes From

The “That Girl” concept is trend-driven, emerging around 2021 during the rise of TikTok and Instagram’s short-form video culture. Influencers began posting curated morning and night routines, pairing minimalist visuals with captions about self-care and productivity.

It borrows from earlier internet aesthetics like the “clean girl” look and girlboss culture, but with a stronger emphasis on wellness, mindfulness, and personal organization.

Why It Resonates

At its core, “That Girl” content taps into two psychological drivers:

1. Aspiration — The human tendency to seek out and idealize a better version of ourselves.
2. Visual storytelling — Condensing routines into quick, aesthetic clips makes them feel achievable and deeply satisfying to watch.

However, while the perfection we see is mostly curated, some of the habits in these videos are supported by research.

My Perspective

For me, the “That Girl” trend has always been a mix of inspiration and intimidation. On one hand, the perfectly lit morning routines and neatly packaged productivity tips were motivating. On the other, they left me with a constant feeling of being behind — as though I wasn’t meeting some unspoken standard.

At one point, not having “everything” made me chase it all. I bought nearly every viral product I saw online — from planners to skincare gadgets — only to realize that much of it was a waste of money and mental energy. Over time, I’ve accepted that I can’t — and don’t want to — be “That Girl” at any stage of my life.

The reality is that I don’t live in an isolated, perfectly curated bubble. I live in a world of millions, where a single word or action from someone else can completely shift my life’s direction. If you’re familiar with the butterfly effect, you’ll understand what I mean: even the smallest interaction can have lasting consequences.

Philosophically, most theories fall somewhere between individualism and collectivism. I know there are approaches that try to merge the two, but I believe society’s influence is incredibly strong — far stronger than the illusion of complete self-reliance that trends like “That Girl” often imply. Personal growth, in my view, can’t be separated from our relationships, communities, and the collective forces shaping our lives.

That said, I can’t deny that I’m influenced by these trends. The difference now is that I choose consciously. I follow the trends that truly resonate with my values and bring me joy — not because I feel pressured to fit into a polished, online ideal, but because they add something meaningful to my life.

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The Downsides

While elements of “That Girl” align with well-being research, the overall aesthetic is not grounded in scientific reality. Studies on social comparison theory (Fardouly et al., 2015) show that repeated exposure to idealized, curated lifestyles can lower self-esteem and increase feelings of inadequacy.

The trend also feeds into consumerism, with many creators monetizing their content through affiliate links and sponsored posts — encouraging viewers to buy their way into the aesthetic, rather than focusing on sustainable, realistic changes.

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Balanced Takeaway

The "That Girl" trend is a blend of aspiration and aesthetics. Its promoted habits — healthy eating, exercise, mindfulness, and organization — can be beneficial, but the flawless, always-productive life it portrays is a highlight reel, not an everyday truth.

If you find the trend inspiring, treat it as a toolbox, not a rulebook. Pick the elements that genuinely improve your life, ignore the rest, and remember: your personal growth doesn’t have to be photogenic to be real.

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References

• American Psychological Association. (2021). The exercise effect.
• Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.
• Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media: The impact of Facebook on young women’s body image concerns and mood. Body Image, 13, 38–45.
• Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. (2019). The Nutrition Source: Healthy Eating Plate.
• Saxbe, D. E., & Repetti, R. L. (2010). No place like home: Home tours correlate with daily patterns of mood and cortisol. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(1), 71–81.
• Walker, M. (2017). Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams. Scribner.
• World Health Organization. (2020). WHO guidelines on physical activity and sedentary behaviour.